


Who is Responsible?

by breakfastoversugar



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Trina-centric (Falsettos), the characterization is more based on the 1981 ver., then buys a romantic table, trina cheers whizzer up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 07:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakfastoversugar/pseuds/breakfastoversugar
Summary: Why is he still around? He couldn’t actually love Marvin, or care about Jason, so what is he doing here? Why is he still making them suffer? If he went away, would Trina’s life go back to normal? She remembered the fights and the cold, lonely nights, the long dead carnations, the screaming parakeet.Would she want her life to go back to the way it was?No, now was not the time for introspection. Introspection didn’t make a happy home. An unhappy home meant an unhappy family. An unhappy family meant a gay husband, a stupid and spiteful son, a lonely, horny pathetic excuse of a wife, and everyone’s favorite gigolo. Trina didn’t have an unhappy family. Trina had the ideal white picket fence.
Relationships: Whizzer Brown & Trina, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Who is Responsible?

**Author's Note:**

> trina makes me so sad. i want her to be happy

Family dinner was never a happy occasion. For anyone. Anyone but Marvin, Trina noted bitterly as she stared at her over - or rather the chicken slowly roasting inside of it. Family dinner -  _ ha!  _ What a  _ novel _ idea now, considering Marvin took their family and ripped it to pieces that night she found Marvin and Whizzer in the den. Or the subsequent morning afterwards, where she begged Marvin to continue to try to fight for their marriage, or at least the image of one. Marvin had turned her down, though, refused her outright. 

Family dinners. Because now that family was Trina, Marvin, Jason, and  _ Whizzer _ . She wishes she could be more angry at the suave man for sweeping in and stealing all of Marvin’s love away from her. But she can’t be. Because she never had any of Marvin’s love in the first place. Before Whizzer, it was probably some other man he met. He would probably kiss them like he actually wanted to be around them and like it didn’t make his skin crawl.

Trina wonders how she didn’t notice it sooner. Months before she caught them, even, when Whizzer had inexplicably found himself a nice little nook in their family’s hearts, Marvin still looked at him like he was the only person on Earth that mattered to him. Whizzer. Whizzer would smile at Marvin and his whole face would light up for no reason. Before Whizzer came around, Trina almost forgot what her husband’s smile even looked like. Could she have failed as a wife _that badly_? Could she have really made her husband that miserable? It wasn’t her fault, was it? Trina wasn’t so repulsive and disgusting that it turned Marvin off from women forever, was she? 

Trina looked at the knife on the nice marble counter tops and counted back from ten. 

Dr. Mendel - the whole family’s current psychiatrist (That’s a conflict of interest, right? That’s not ethical, is it? Oh well, he seems to have the answers to Trina’s problems, so she overlooks.) - says she is a lovely woman. Dr. Mendel says that she isn’t disgusting or repulsive and that she did not make Marvin gay. Dr. Mendel says she should not hurt herself. Dr. Mendel gave her medicine to feel better. Trina forgot to take her medicine this morning. 

Trina moved to step out of the kitchen to take her medicine. That’s what a good mother should do, right? A mother who doesn’t resent her husband or hate her son or her life or herself. A good mother, a good wife, a good woman should take her medicine and cook the dinner. But it was too late to do that, her guests had arrived. 

“Hi, Whizzer!” Her son’s voice floats easily over to where she is standing. Jason, her darling, was so smart but sometimes he was so naive. How could he not be more upset? How could he still beam at that man with such a large smile? Why doesn’t he smile at Trina that way? Why doesn’t he smile at Trina at all? Why did  _ Whizzer _ make him happy? Was he that  _ stupid _ to not see that the man ruined their lives?

“Hiya, Jason!” Said man responded in kind, ruffling the hair of her son. _Her_ son. Maybe afterwards he even kissed _her_ husband. Her ex-husband, because Marvin’s already made his choice. How did Whizzer do that? How could he make all the men in her life happy by just being there? Was she not good enough? Whizzer could probably woo Dr. Mendel somehow.

Not like Dr. Mendel’s feelings toward her or her family affected her. Trina was sure they were strictly professional. Absolutely professional. Totally, one hundred percent professional… 

“Hello, Trina. You’re looking well,” A charming, practiced, smarmy Whizzer said, standing in front of her. He looked good. He was dressed like he actually knew how to dress himself, he had nice styled hair and an infuriating smirk. Trina could see why Marvin liked him so much. He was a very handsome man. “Need any help? Marvin says I’m terrible in the kitchen, but he’s a big baby, so.” How could Marvin care about a man who speaks so lowly of him?

“No.” Trina responds firmly. She turns her back on Whizzer to check on her glazed carrots. Cutting them had originally been cathartic, but now that she was staring at them, she just felt empty. It was a wonder that she had the wherewithal to make glazed carrots after her breakdown earlier. She is still wondering what to do with the bananas. 

Whizzer nodded curtly. “Alright. Well, I’ll, uh,” He faltered. Trina smiled, but only a little bit. “I’ll be right out there if you’d like any help.” 

Trina wondered if any of his attempts were sincere. Probably not. Why would he care about a family he destroyed? Why is he still around, after everything that has happened? Why is he still around? He couldn’t actually love Marvin, or care about Jason, so what is he doing here? Why is he still making them suffer? If he went away, would Trina’s life go back to normal? She glanced at the knife laying there. She counted from ten. She remembered the fights and the cold, lonely nights, the long dead carnations, the screaming parakeet. 

Would she want her life to go back to the way it was?

No, now was not the time for introspection. Introspection didn’t make a happy home. An unhappy home meant an unhappy family. An unhappy family meant a gay husband, a stupid and spiteful son, a lonely, horny, pathetic excuse of a wife and everyone’s favorite gigolo. Trina didn’t have an unhappy family. Trina had the ideal white picket fence. 

Dinner was ready. Happy women with happy, normal, middle class, Jewish families set the table to have a nice dinner. Happy women who don’t loathe and need the ground their ex walks on. Happy women who have sons that don’t say barbed words with a sharp tongue just to pain them. Happy women who don’t have a Whizzer. Happy women who don’t imagine someone stumbling open her in the wee morning hours with her swaying side to side from the chandelier. So, because Trina was a happy woman, she set the table. 

“Trina,” Marvin greeted with a smile that screamed pity. What a  _ stupid man _ he was. ... Right? Was he smart to get out while he could? “How have you been? Have you started seeing Mendel?” He asked and wrangled their restless son to sit down for dinner. 

Trina’s head snapped up. She gripped onto a plate so hard she could break it. “What?” She asked meekly and a little bewildered. Why would she start seeing Dr. Mendel? That was her psychiatrist. Marvin’s as well. Plus, he most likely wasn’t interested in a woman like her. He wasn’t right? He couldn’t be, right? 

“Did you make an appointment with Mendel?” Marvin asked, crossing his arms across his chest. Whizzer sneered at his tie. Trina bought that tie. What is wrong with it? Trina liked it and Marvin never complained about it. “Trina? Hello? Are you in there?” He huffed. Sometimes he could act like such a child. Sometimes Trina thinks she hates him. Does she hate him? No, no, she couldn't.

An appointment made more sense. Marvin always was smart. He was the breadwinner, after all. For ten years he made sure their little distressing band lived comfortably. “I have,” She said reluctantly. She set the plates down gently. Whizzer extended his help to her once more, but she ignored him completely. “He is a nice man, Doctor Mendel. Very smart.” Trina nods and gets Marvin’s dinner plate ready as if by second nature. She arranges things in a way that is very pleasing to the eye - specifically Marvin's eye. Was she ever pleasing to Marvin's eye? “I think he might know the answers to all of my questions, and God knows, I have a lot of questions.”

Marvin raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing in response to her. Did she make a fool of herself? Did she arrange his food wrong? Trina realized belatedly that it wasn’t her job to put his dinner on his plate. Was it ever really her job?

Trina pushed down the resentment and anger. Don’t get angry, Trina. Keep a level head, Trina. Your terrible son needs you, Trina. What would the neighbors say, Trina? Remember what Dr. Mendel said, Trina. It _doesn't matter_ anymore, Trina. She set Marvin’s plate in front of him with a forceful clatter. Well, forceful for her. Which is just enough to clatter gently against the table, but not enough to actively disturb anyone. She took her seat at the table and hated where her life had led her. 

Family dinner was a dreadfully routine occasion. Marvin bickered, picked fights, huffed, acted like the world owed him something. Jason closed himself off from the group, unless it was Whizzer speaking directly to him. Then Jason’s whole face would light up like a candle and he would talk a million miles a minute. Whizzer dazzled the room effortlessly. He could capture Marvin’s attention in a motion of his hand, he could earn Jason’s undying trust in just a proverb, he could convince Trina to not hate him after stealing her husband and infiltrating her family. Trina ... Well, Trina stared down at her plate, unblinking. She would sit, quiet and docile while the men around her caused a ruckus. She wouldn’t even eat the food she spent so long making. She would think of death and wish she wasn’t such a terribly broken woman. Oh, sorry - such a happy, well rounded, giving woman. Because she was a giving woman. She gave, and she gave, and _she gave_. Now that she has nothing left to give, nowhere left to go, and she feels .... Now is not the time for introspection. It isn’t, right? When will be the time for introspection?

“Trina,” Marvin spoke after what felt like seconds and years simultaneously, “It’s getting late. I’m going to put Jason to bed,” He turned to his son who groaned loudly and complained something that Trina didn’t care enough to hear. _His_ son; Jason was just like Marvin. Trina balled her fists into her skirt. “Then Whizzer and I will probably be off. Dinner was … nice. Not overcooked,” Marvin said, raising from the table and ushering Jason off as well. The last two words were punctuated strangely, but she didn’t question it. It wasn't a statement made for her. Was any part of Marvin really for her?

Then it was just Trina and Whizzer. 

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Whizzer checked his short, blunt, bitten nails and gnawed at his lips. The lips that have kissed her husband. The lips Marvin belonged to. Never her own. How could she not know? She knew that Marvin was cheating, but how could she not know?

“Do you love him?” Trina blurted out after a few seconds. Her eyes met the tall man’s. Their mirrored expressions of shock shower how much both of them expected to have this conversation. “Marvin,” Trina said slowly, doubling down rather than running off, “Do you love him?”

Whizzer let out a long breath through his nose. “Does it matter?” He asked and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t think it really matters if I love him. I think the only thing that matters is that he doesn’t love you.” His voice was poisonous and cold. There was spite behind the bite. Like he had been waiting to tell her that for a while now. Trina pushed her lips together into a thin line and waited. She counted back to ten. She breathed through her nose. Does it matter?

“I think it matters,” She said, unclenching her fists from her skirt and smoothing it out. The soft fabric underneath her fingertips worked well to ground her when she felt like she could float away. “Do you love him, Whizzer?”

“It doesn’t matter-”

“It does, Whizzer!”

She counted backwards from ten before standing up. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and came back, sitting right next to Whizzer. He looked physically uncomfortable but Trina didn't pay it any mind.

“It matters because I think you do.” She whispered and opened the bottle with a bottle cap opener. She then set it on the table much harder than she intended. Though it probably wasn't a big deal to everyone else, to Trina's own ears the noise sounded like a bomb dropping in her kitchen. She winced and pretended like she didn't. “I can’t imagine why you would stick around if you didn’t.”

“He has money,” Whizzer said quickly, physically recoiling from her, “He has a lot of money. And he’s a good screw. That’s it.” His eyes darted off toward the stairs and his eyebrows drew together. The tension in his shoulders was obvious. There was a strange sense of desperation from his tone. Like he wanted it to be true, like he wished he could also believe that.

Trina hummed and took a sip of the terrible alcohol. Beer was never her thing, but it was cheap and it got the job done. “There must’ve been other men before Marv. With money. And," She chuckled humorlessly and lolled her head away from him, "Not that our experiences were ever the same in this regard, but I’ve always thought Marvin to be a lousy lover.”

“Well, that’s because-”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a few more moments. Trina took a swig from her bottle.

“I don’t want to,” Whizzer confessed after a beat. He stared down at the delicate wood of her table and ran one finger along it. It was several years old and it reminded her of a miserable family of three banded together by the child conceived out of wedlock. She wanted to buy a new table. Was this table good enough? Sure the legs wobbled and if people leaned on it, it could collapse, but it was still a good table, right? “I don’t want to love Marvin. And, no offense, Trina, but I’m scared of settling with him. With anyone, really, but especially Marvin. He can be so mean, and he can get so upset. Sometimes I’m afraid the maid is more his style. That isn’t me, _none_ of that is _me_. The times when he realizes that I'm not a housewife are the worst.”

Trina should scare him off. Trina should tell him of the horror stories she has of Marvin. Right? She should, right? What would be more ethical? She could tell Whizzer not to go on the path she stubbornly marched for ten long, long years. The path of the sad housewife waiting for her husband to return while she cooks and cleans and clips the coupons and-.

“Marvin can be mean. But he can also be very sweet,” She wrung her hands together and thought back to all the good times with Marvin. Looking back on it, those were always the most chaste of times. Times where it felt like they were just glorified friends. “He’s scared.” Trina settled on. Why is she trying to instill faith in this relationship? Why is she trying to make Whizzer feel better? Why does she feel better doing so? Why do her own problems make her feel like she is drowning, but she can smile and give Whizzer advice no problem? “I know he can be mean, but he cares about you, Whizz-”

“Please,” Whizzer said suddenly, “Don’t.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft. Why did he sound so afraid? He got what he wanted, right? He got her husband. He won.

Trina hummed. She was decidedly unimpressed. “It’s the truth. I know that isn’t something you want to hear, but it is undeniable.” She leaned back in her chair. “Both of you seem like damn fools.” She smiled to herself. She got away with that, right? Calling the males in her life she loved and depended on for things like money to her own self-worth fools made her feel like she was the cat who got the cream. Trina quickly hid her smile behind another sip of her vile beer. “I know that might seem cruel. I shouldn’t say that.”

Whizzer shook his head. An uneasy chuckled bubbled out of him. “You’re right, Trina.” He said, reassuring her. The tension was still obvious in his body language. “We can be fools. Both of us.” He ran a hand through his perfect hair. A few pieces fell out of place. How long did that hair take him? Did Marvin notice how nice it looks? Does Marvin care?

She smiled at him, mostly involuntary. The edges of her mouth quirked up for a few moments before falling back down again. 

“How do you get them to adore you like that?” She asked and gestured over toward the stairs with the hand that still held the bottle. She was careful not to spill it, but the thought gives her a rush of adrenaline. “I mean, we already talked about Marv, but Jason? How did you do that? He hates us. He hates me.” What makes Whizzer _so much better_ than Trina?

Whizzer shrugged. He looked off toward the staircase. 

They were silent once more. It wasn’t uneasy, but it wasn’t comfortable. It was just silence. Sometimes that's all a moment had to be. 

“Marvin won’t be the one to crack first.” Trina advised when she heard the sound of Marvin’s thundering footsteps approaching the stairs. She spent ten years memorizing the sound of his footsteps and rejoicing when she heard them. She has been so dumb. “He’d sooner tear everything you have apart then admit he was in the wrong.” She stood at that and gathered the dishes. Then, she bustled off into the kitchen and acted more busy than she was so she didn’t have to speak to Marvin. 

“Hey baby,” She heard from the other room. Her heart ached painfully. Does she still love Marvin, despite all of this? Did she _ever, really_ love Marvin? 

“Marv,” Whizzer greeted him curtly. 

There was a long moment where she heard nothing before Marvin’s curly hair poked into the kitchen. “We’re off, Trina. It was nice. We’ll see you next week.” He said, disappearing once more. She migrated to the door frame and watched them for a moment. Marvin smiled at Whizzer in a way he never smiled at Trina. Was Trina not good enough for a smile like that? Whizzer shot him a smirk back, but the look in his eyes was more vulnerable than he would ever admit to. Trina forced herself to look away from it all.

“Whizzer,” She called out as Marvin turned the doorknob. “Be cautious,” She warned. Whizzer looked at her and nodded. Marvin stared at her like she was crazy. He turned to Whizzer who smiled good naturedly and shrugged. Marvin sighed and shook his head. 

As they pulled out of the driveway, Trina pulled out the phone.

“Hello, Doctor Mendel,” She said into the receiver. “I know it is late, but do you have a moment?”

“Oh, Trina!” The short man chirped into the receiver. There was a soft rustling on the other side. “Of course I have a moment, Trina. Is there something bothering you?”

Trina twirled the phone cord around her finger anxiously. What was it she wanted to call about again? “Marvin and Whizzer came over for dinner,” She said after a beat. “And I forgot to take my medicine this morning. And I think I am getting over Marvin. He just seems so… stupid. And sad.” She sighed, a heavy noise that made it sound like she had lifted a hundred pounds off of her chest. She felt like she lifted a hundred pounds off of her chest. Was that wrong? “Doctor, I am still confused and distressed. And I have so many questions. Is that normal, to have questions?” 

“Oh, don’t ask me questions! I’m frightened of questions!” From the little chuckle at the end, Trina supposes that should be a joke.

She didn’t laugh or find it particularly funny. The line was painfully awkward for a long few moments before Trina spoke again. “Well, I guess most things can wait until next session but, um …” She looked around the room at things around her. “Should I buy a new table? The one I have is terrible, and it wobbles, and I’ve had it for almost ten years.”

“Can you afford a new table?”

“Yes,” Trina said, quickly doing the calculations in her head. She could afford a nice, new, wooden table. She smiled. “I can.”

“Then you should get a new table! Sometimes you have to let go of things that are old and embrace things that are new! Even if they’re different, sometimes change is good and necessary. So take the new things in stride, Trina!”

“Like a table,” Trina said, staring at the wedding ring on her hand she has stubbornly refused to take off. Maybe change could be good for her. Like divorcing Marvin. This could be good for her. Helping, knowing Whizzer could be good for her. Lord knows, having Jason is one of the best things to happen to her, even if she resented him at times.

“Like a table!” Trina thinks sometimes he has no idea what he is talking about. Like Dr. Mendel is just a man who talks out of his ass and gets paid for it.

“I still have questions ... But I think I'm okay for right now. I'll see you on Thursday at noon, Doctor Mendel. Goodnight."

She hung up the phone feeling lighter than she had in years.


End file.
